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Contributor Interview #1 – Price

Welcome to the first of my weekly contributor interviews. This week, I was lucky enough to get in contact with my very first contributor, Price. Let’s see what he has to say.

Millionaire:

Hi there, donor. What name would you like to use for the purposes of today’s interview?

Price:

Price.

Millionaire:

So, Price. Would you mind sharing with my loyal readers the amount you donated?

Price:

I’ve donated a total of $1.24 to the Millionaire, including your first cent.

Millionaire:

What would you have spent that money on otherwise?

Price:

It was leftover relatively useless amounts stuck on prepaid credit cards. I just didn’t want them to get to keep it.

Millionaire:

This may be related to your last answer, but I can’t very well have you wasting my question writing time with preemptive answering. What drove you to donate to my cause?

Price:

Mostly the lulz.

Millionaire:

A strong motivation, no doubt. What would you like to see me do with my million dollars?

Price:

Buy a billboard in a really poor neighborhood to announce the fact that you have received a million dollars for doing relatively nothing. You know, to inspire people.

Millionaire:

I like the way you think. I’m very much about inspiring people to reach their goals. Name three things you would do if you were as exceptional as me and had a million dollars of your own.

Price:

Whores, drugs and video games

Millionaire:

Thank you for your response. In keeping with your clearly lower class answer, as a common man/woman, what can you tell me about your common ways?

Price:

Actually, I think you’ve done an excellent job of preparing yourself mentally for the responsibility of your impending wealth, and you should avoid concerning yourself with the affairs of the little people you will soon leave behind. You’re clearly better than that.

Millionaire:

And you sir and/or madam are an excellent judge of character. As you know, being a Millionaire, I’m a very busy man. Before we bring this interview to an end, during these few short moments where you’re able to have an amount of my attention, is there anything you’d like to ask me?

Price:

When this is over and you have your million, do you think you’ll feel beholden to your donors in any way?

Millionaire:

An excellent question. In a way, I would say yes.

Everything I have told my donors that I will spend their money on is truly my intent. Barring unforeseen circumstances, I won’t be going against the things that I’ve said I will spend the money on.

I would say that in that sense, I am indeed beholden to them and I will ensure that I do everything in my power to uphold me end of our agreement.

In the sense that I’m obligated to take requests? No. I’m a Millionaire. They’re poor people. Why would I listen to them?

This brings to an end our interview. Thank you for giving our readers an insight into your mundane life, Price and thank you for your money. I’ll ensure that it goes to good use.

Well my readers, I hope that this look into the mind of a donor has lit your donating fires. If you’d like to take part in our interviews, please e-mail me at millionaire@chipinmillionaire.com and please remember to donate early and donate often!

– The Millionaire

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2 Comments

  1. Price says:

    Just as a note of explanation – I withdrew my answer to what I’d do with a million dollars because as I was answering it, it suddenly struck me what an incredibly personal question that is.

    Most people don’t have a million dollars. Most people have far, far less, and given a million dollars would suddenly find themselves able to make several private goals and desires, previously thought impossible to attain, reality. Taking the question seriously, considering what I would really, actually do if I had that amount of money, got daunting halfway through answering because it felt very weird to expose that much of myself. I think it’s an interesting question to answer seriously, though, as what someone would really do with a million dollars can reveal a lot about their priorities, circumstances, and dreams.

    Feel free to assume I just said “whores, drugs, and video games” instead.

  2. I know that all too well.

    Updated to represent that.

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