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Getting there like a Millionaire

Greetings again my underprivileged readers!

The time has come to discuss one of the many ways I intend to spend your money. Of course, one of the most important things for anyone, let alone a Millionaire, is travelling in style. Of course, a Millionaire has a wider range of far, far more stylish options than the average person. One, as briefly mentioned earlier would be a personal jet. Let’s look at the pros and cons of a owning one’s own jet.

Private Jet
Positive Points

  • Unquestionably the most stylish of all possible choices.
  • Allows flight.
  • Is a jet.
  • Allows for midair Millionaire Parties.

Negative Points

  • Costs more than a million dollars.

So, while the reasons to buy a jet are clearly greater in number and very strong points, the reason not to own one is possibly the strongest of all. So, where can I go from there? We could downgrade a little. Let’s evaluate light aircraft.

Light Aircraft
Positive Points

  • Allows flight.
  • Can be purchased for less than a million dollars.

Negative Points

  • Requires me to know how to fly aircraft.
  • No room for Millionaire Parties.
  • Are really, really nerve wracking.
  • Are not all that impressive.

From that, I think that it’s clear that Light Aircraft is completely lame, unstylish and unMillionaire. Maybe it would be best if I stayed on the ground. At least (almost) all ground vehicles are within a Millionaire’s price range. So, what options do we have here? I’m thinking perhaps a horse-drawn carriage.

Horse Drawn Carriage
Positive Points

  • A new level of elegance and class.
  • Is actually affordable.
  • Enables me to ride past people, demonstrating my Millionaire stylings
  • Allows use of stylish language such as ‘careful with the reins, driver’

Negative Points

  • Requires horses.
  • Only has room for small Millionaire Parties.

So, I must say, at this point, the Carriage is the clear leader of the pack, but what about when I need to get somewhere in a hurry? “But you’re a Millionaire, where do you need to be in a hurry?” I hear you ask. That’s not the point. I might want to go somewhere in a hurry. So, let’s take a look at the humble sports car and what it can offer a fine person such as myself.

Sports Car
Positive Points

  • Fast.
  • Stylish.
  • A clear indication of Millionaire status

Negative Points

  • Encourages people to make inaccurate assumptions on the contents of my Million dollar trousers.
  • Likely to cause my untimely demise.

So, some very strong points supporting the Sports Car, however the matter of my untimely death due to an unfamiliar car is one that I’m not particularly keen on. Should I have some unresolved funds, the Sports Car may indeed be an option, just for fun, but there is one last option for transport. I could spend as much money as I can on my current car, my first car. It’s in bad shape. It needs some work on the frame, some new custom panels that actually fit, the interior needs to be redone and it could use a replacement engine. Heck, while I’m there, why not customise it a bit, add a few personal touches, new paint job. Looking into the work that I’d want done on my car, we could be talking upwards of $50,000 as a baseline. Who in the world would spend all that to upgrade something with no value beyond sentimental? Someone with too much money. Someone like me.

– The Millionaire.


  1. Vis says:

    What of a limousine? It would allow for the benefits of the horse drawn carriage with fewer cons. Provided it was a nice one, it would also still show off your millionaire stylings.

  2. Cody says:

    It could also house some Millionaire parties

  3. Price says:

    As long as it’s not a Hummer limousine, because those do not proclaim “Millionaire” so much as “Douchebag”.

    Mr. Millionaire, have you considered a flying car? and have a couple good examples. As a millionaire, you could also probably afford your own jet packs.

  4. Billionaire says:

    These forms of transportation are all terribly mundane. May I suggest a more exotic form of transportation? I’ve always been partial to the flying carpet.

  5. Flying Car
    Positive Points

    • Allows flight.
    • Is pretty impressive, technologically.

    Negative Points

    • Cost unknown at this point. Cannot commit to purchase.
  6. Flying Carpet
    Positive Points

    • Allows flight.
    • Unique mode of transport. Stands out from the crowd
    • Allows for small midair Millionaire Parties.
    • Comes in a range of colours and styles.

    Negative Points

    • Unknown cost.
    • Not feasible within the known laws of physics.
  7. Limousine
    Positive Points

    • Classic Millionaire transport.
    • Head turner
    • Allows for small Millionaire Parties.
    • Usually come with a bar.
    • Not as expensive as I thought.

    Negative Points

    • Requires ongoing cost of a driver.
    • Too cliche.
  8. Trillionaire says:

    Flying car:

    It costs only a fraction of a million dollars.

  9. Yes, but you’re not taking into account the fact that the one you’ve linked looks hideous.

Leave a Reply to Vis