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Fiscal Projections

Welcome once again to a new day of money-making, my very, very generous friends.

It is time once again to discuss our progress on the million-dollar goal. It is, as you might notice, coming along spectacularly. As you can clearly see, the drive is sitting pretty at $6.02, quite the tidy sum for three days of non-work. I’ve gone so far as to work out an hourly rate using my advanced mathematic modelling suite. If you’re having trouble following, please let me know and I’ll try to keep things simpler in future.

Simply put, it goes thusly. I take the amount I’ve earned had contributed, divide it by hours worked and alakazam, I have my hourly rate.

A very impressive amount, I must admit, though my projection could be slightly off. Ultimately, I am a millionaire, not a mathematician. The two are mutually exclusive, to the best of my knowledge. Much better than my hourly rate at my actual job. In fact, if I were to take just one of the hours I worked today and apply it here, well… let’s consult the projection suite. I didn’t spend all that money on it so it could gather dust in a corner.

Unfortunately, the object here is not to do any work, even for an hour. Plus, there would also be the stigma attached to being an infinitillionaire. It’s going to be bad enough needing to distance myself from my million-less friends, let alone needing to lord my infinitillions over my millionaire buddies. It’s one thing to have goals, but there’s such a thing as a ridiculous target. No, being a millionaire is enough for me. I have no aspirations to become an infinitillionaire. I’m nothing if not realistic. Except a millionaire.

– The Millionaire.



  1. Bolty says:

    You utter fool! You divided by zero, and thus have doomed us all with your mathematical machinations!

  2. I’ll be able to buy my way out of any such doom soon.

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