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Incompetence in the Ranks

Greetings again, potential hirelings.

I come to you with a grave story, an unthinkable one. My ever-faithful diminutive manservant, the frequently mentioned Rodney has failed me. I’m not going to invoke the cliche here and declare that he has failed me for the final time, but I must admit that he’s getting pretty close. So, I’m sure this line of thinking has managed to whet your appetite, and the obvious question is lurking at the front of your head already.  I’ve told you a million times how to donate though, there’s a link on the right. Your next question of course relates to Rodney’s faux pas. So, what did Rodney do that was so offensive? Of course, he was derelict in his fifth most important duty. He was negligent in reminding me to share my infinite Millionaire wisdom with you all.

So, what is to be done about an incompetent employee. Perhaps he should be retained? Perhaps he should be replaced? Perhaps I should create a tacky “Save Rodney” fanpage for him on Facebook as a publicity stunt to merely draw attention back to my own efforts as a Millionaire? Perhaps I should follow the lead of my colleagues in China and Russia and begin looking for my hires overseas, in England. It makes perfect sense. Britain delivers the finest butlers known to man.


Alfred Pennyworth

Case Closed


The real question here is should Rodney be replaced with one of these fine butlers from the Guild of Professional English Butlers ( GPEB – pronounced gepebh) or should I simply send him to England for further training? It has been a soul searching question and one to which I have not yet found an answer. Perhaps I should send him for retraining immediately. The GPEB seem reputable. The head of the company certainly has a good name for a butler. Robert Watson sounds perfect for a butler. Certainly superior to Rodney. Before I leave you with further evidence, I leave you with a question. Should Rodney be fired for his incompetence, or merely retrained? If you offer your opinions, they may be considered, if I am feeling particularly charitable.


The disapproving look is important when turning away unwanted guests.


This butler can be seen praising a higher power, specifically his Millionaire.

This butler demonstrates  one the tools of his trade. A well trained English Butler can kill an armed assailant with but a simple feather duster.


The English butler is clearly in the lead in desired butler qualities, but what makes a good butler? Stay tuned for the next part where I examine exactly what qualities I seek in this most important of all my staff, the Butler. And woe betide Rodney if the article goes unwritten.

– The Millionaire


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