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Supporting Your Millionaire

Greetings again Paupers.

It is I, your Millionaire. For once, I do not come to you bearing the gift of the knowledge of the upper class, but come asking you for your assistance. No, for once this isn’t a suggestion that you donate now though that is, as always, welcome. Today I ask for your help with promotion.

Promoting this website is always an issue. One problem is with readers taking me seriously. Many people seem to feel that I am just kidding about this project. Let me set the record straight right now. I am not kidding. I want you to give me your money, in small amounts, to make me a millionaire. The other problem may be with apathy, perhaps people aren’t motivated enough to drive their friends in my direction, but let me ask you this, apathetic person.. do you really hate your friends that much? The final possible problem might be that people don’t find my writings informative, educational and occasionally witty, leading them to leave and never return, certainly not driving traffic in my direction. Surely only the most heartless soul could deprive their friends of my informative, educational and consistently witty writings.

For this project to grow and strengthen, I need fresh faces reading my wisdom and contributing to the cause. Of course, one obvious route is advertising, but that in itself creates a problem of spending the very money I am attempting to earn make. Plus, I feel it is against the very nature of the site to advertise it as though it were some downtown greengrocer (Though I will accept donations of advertising time). No, my friends, this lofty goal will not be achieved by throwing money at it, though as I have learned, this is often a successful solution to any problem. This problem can be solved by you, my loyal readers. How? I’m glad you asked.

 

Love me.

Or at the very least, like me. Facebook is an odd medium. It is one that the Millionaire has been around for some time, and yet the readership of my brilliantly crafted nuggets of wisdom vastly outstrips the number of people who are willing to publicly profess their liking for me.  Unfortunately, to date, Facebook still lacks “Love”, “Adore” and “Bow Down To” buttons, so for now, you will have to make do with liking me. One excellent place to start would be by liking this: http://www.facebook.com/ChipInMillionaire

Liking the official ChipIn Millionaire Facebook group will get you exclusive updates whenever I write something new. Get your wisdom while it’s still hot, or at least lukewarm. Then, once you’ve absorbed my piping hot wisdom fully, remember to like the post announcing it, so that your friends can enjoy a fresh helping as well.

 

Talk about me.

Do your friends know about the ChipIn Millionaire? Why not? Is not my greatness enough to talk about at all times? Are you too lazy to even speak? No wonder you are not as wealthy as I. Take the time during your busy workday to speak with your blue collar colleagues, at these conversations that I have been informed take place at water dispensers. Alternately, take the opportunity to let your friends know about my excellent work in more casual settings, perhaps over dinner you could let them know about my great upcoming post about Millionaire Cuisine, explaining to them in great detail how much better than them I truly am.

Got a lot of friends on Facebook and nowhere else? Don’t fear, even a friendless loser like yourself can support my cause! Make an occasional post, letting your online friends know how awesome I am, and watch them heap praise upon you for your courage and insight. It’s almost like having real friends! (Note: It is not at all like having real friends. I’m just trying to make you feel better.)

Remember, letting your friends and colleagues know about the ChipIn Millionaire is an important public service, and makes you a better person.

 

Link to me.

Got a website? Got a blog? Frequent forums? All of these could be missed opportunities to lend a hand to your friendly neighbourhood Millionaire. In the same way that your money becomes my money when you give it to me, your readers become my readers when they’re reading my posts. Add a link to your website, or e-mail me at millionaire@chipinmillionaire.com to ask for some stylish linking images. I’m more than happy to oblige.

Slow day on your blog? Review one of my articles. (Spoiler.. the article is phenomenal) – Let your readers know exactly how great I am (very).

Don’t let your forum signature drag down your posts any further into poverty! Let the Millionaire add a degree of class, wealth and charm to your online presence. (Note: Linking to my site in your forum signature will not make you more wealthy, classy or charming)

 

Socialise me.

You may have noticed the relatively recent addition of some buttons to the bottom of each post. I’ve added quick buttons that allow you to quickly and easily promote my postings. The buttons allow you to link it to others through Facebook, Twitter, StumbleUpon, Digg, Reddit and of course, Gmail. There’s also an additional button with a  plus on it that allows you to add it to other services that I wasn’t aware people cared about.

If you’re a member of any of those Internet communities and have ever wanted to be considered to be a true hero of that community, a good starting point would be to introduce other people to my work and give them an opportunity to make the world a better place by giving me their money.

 

Comment me.

Become an active participant in the Millionaire process. Give me your thoughts! I’m happy to discuss things with you in the comments on my post or on Formspring. If you want clarification on anything I’ve said, in case your lower class mind has not fully understood it, feel free to ask. If you just want to discuss what I’ve raised, feel free to discuss it. Perhaps some open discussion will make everyone feel more at home and help me target my wisdom towards your specific needs.

Remember, unless you tell me, I don’t know why my life is better than yours. At least, not in exact details. Obviously it is when talking in general terms.

 

Signpost me.

Ever wanted a good excuse to stick an advertising poster up in a very public place? Well, now you have one! I am offering you, my very dear friends, a limited, exclusive offer. You can, without charge, print any of the following posters and place them in public areas for public viewing and approval. Decorate those walls that you’re stuck looking at every day with my shining visage, making the world a brighter, albeit less colourful place.

Feel free to select any of these fine images for your wall!

(Click for full size.)

 

Ultimately, wit or lack thereof aside, this site lives or dies on your support. If you’re enjoying what I’m doing, support it. It’s up to you how you support it, but there’s one underlying truth to remember.

The more people you introduce to my site, the less money you personally need to give me. I’m just trying to look out for your finances here, friend.

– The Millionaire

3 Comments

  1. Vis says:

    Dear Millionaire,

    I would like to assure you that the proletariat of the world are working diligently to make you rich. You may not see it now, but soon the fruits of the common man’s labour will line your pockets and give your shoes soles of solid gold. Once you have rightfully taken your place among the elite bourgeoisie, you can look down upon the workers of the world and sneer at them from your position of obvious superiority.

    1. This pleases me.
      The Millionaire.

  2. To those that are having trouble printing the images:

    First, click on them to see them full size.
    Secondly, download them to your Hard Drive.
    Thirdly, when printing them, make sure it’s set to fit it to one page.
    Fourthy, I’m your Millionaire, not your tech support.

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